I'm in pieces; baby, fix me.

Hey bloggers.. Sorry for simply stopping the previous story.. So, consider this a closing-up part to A9laan Ana Majnounak:

It was 5:12 AM. Joory was looking through her laptop to view old pictures.. She fished through the Year 2009 folder. She smiled to the old silly pictures she had with Dalia & Jude in Chili's. She missed those days..

& then it hit her. It was just like a firing missile going right through her, killing every happy thought she had in her mind that moment. It brought back memories that she'd been pretending that she'd forget them. No, no.. She still remembers those vivid moments. She remembers every detail of that night.. It was October 17th, 2009. It was a picture of their hands, intertwined. His hands were a lot bigger than hers. She had her fingers perfectly and meticulously french manicured.

***He slowly slipped his hands into hers. It was the first time they'd ever held hands. She smiled. After hours and hours of talking, he suddendly bursted, 'Allaah! Aby a9aawer!'

She giggled, 'Shit9awer allah yehadaakk?'

He smiled, 'Al7een tshoufeen..' He grabbed his phone and hit the camera button. He took a picture of their hands. 'I've always wanted to take this picture..'

Joory looked at him. She knew that he was the one.***

'A picture is worth a thousand words,' they say. That picture was worth a million. It was a frozen moment of young love, affection, and the feeling of butterflies.

She opened a Microsoft Word Document and wiped her tear away as she typed on her laptop..

"Just trying to get things out of my chest here:

These are the worst four months I've ever encountered.. I simply cannot do this anymore."

*heartaches.

"I hate you for breaking my heart. I hate you for stealing it. I hate you for not taking care of it. I hate you for sending me those horrible three long messages when I left to the airport. I hate you for not apologizing. I hate you for moving on. I hate you for letting me cry myself to sleep for many, many endless nights. I hate not knowing anything about you right now. I hate worrying about you right now. I hate you for letting me go, when you promised me that you never will. I HATE YOU."

"I miss you. I miss your voice. I miss your dreamy eyes. I miss your long hair. I miss your smile. I miss your face. I miss your hands. I miss your amazing perfume. I miss how our fingers intertwined. I miss how you hug me and I get squished because I'm not tall enough. I miss how you use the annoying nickname that I hate. I miss how you call me at 4am, making sure that I took my medication. I miss how you get all jealous. I miss your freaky weird laughs that I absolutely love. I miss your cat. I miss how you sigh every time I talk about studying. I miss how you dance. I miss how you hold me, and making me forget the rest of the world. I miss your one fils. I miss your baby face. I miss how you simply stare at me for a long, LONG time. I miss how you think that I'm beautiful. I miss your Kit-Kat obsession. I miss how you held my wrist when I was walking away. I miss when you kiss my forehead. I miss your fear for dogs. I miss your freakishly long legs. I miss how you brighten my day by calling me. I miss how thin you are. I miss how you refuse to take a shower after our date, because my smell lingers in your clothes. I miss resting my head on your shoulder. I miss our special 'date place'. I miss seeing your number calling on my cellphone. I miss how you get angry when I have to go back home. I miss it when you talk to me about your troubles, asking me for my opinion. I miss our stupid fights. I miss how you call me two seconds later, apologizing. I miss how you tell me that you love me. I miss how you don't know how to flirt. I miss getting ready to see you. I miss how you say my name. I miss your respect to me. I miss it when you call me your wife. I miss it when you make plans for the future.

I miss when you were here."

"I can't even listen to Michael Jackson, Abdulmajeed's Million Kha6er, nor Ya Mounyati. Don't even think about Akon's Beautiful; our song. They all remind me of you. I literally had to delete them from my iTunes."

"I close my eyes in misery and shudder whenever I hear your name, hear your voice, or smell your perfume randomly. I close my eyes in misery and try to forget. I close my eyes in misery and fail to."

"I can't believe your gone. I can't believe you moved on. Did you?"

"Put me out of my misery, please?"

"No, I can't forget you.

And yes, you are my first and only love of my life."

'said your so beautiful, so damn beautiful.'

i love you.

Joory closed the Microsoft Word Document. A warning popped up on the window. 'Do you want to save the changes you made to "Document 1"?'

She stared at the screen for a long time. She clicked on, 'Don't Save.'

Joory got up and got ready for bed. She snuggled under her cold covers and closed her eyes. It was just yet another miserable night she'd have to cry herself to sleep.

ps; juju, you understand me, don't you? wish you were here to help me through this misery.